


Accidents

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-10 06:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4380749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil accidentally come out via livestream, and the results are somewhat catastrophic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading this clusterfuck of a story. It makes it a lot more fun to write about grown men that you've never actually met when you have people encouraging you LOL.

Dan lay draped across his bed, phone in hand, when the thought of starting a livestream occurred to him. Phil had been on the phone for ages now, leaving him with nothing to do but scroll endlessly through social media. Normally, Dan and Phil told each other when they were about to livestream to prevent any... Embarrassing moments. But Dan didn't want to interrupt Phil's phone call. And besides, he was  _bored._

He slumped back against his bed frame, and dragged his computer onto his lap. The YouNow tab was already open, but it hadn't loaded yet. As he waited for the website to load, he tweeted about the impending livestream. While typing, he heard Phil's high laugh from the lounge, and he frowned at his door. Who exactly was Phil talking to that was making him laugh that hard? Phil had said the phone call was important, now Dan wondered why. He tried to ignore the sudden weight of jealousy in his stomach.

Dan checked his computer screen again, and saw that the everything was in order. He shook his head to clear it, and with his phone in one hand and the laptop balancing on the palm of his other he made his way over to his desk. Gingerly, he set the laptop down and, before even settling into his chair, he launched the livestream.

 

 

"That was five days ago, get over it," Dan said, laughingly, adjusting the angle of his laptop screen. He had been livestreaming for only twenty minutes, but he was already well into it. He brushed a fleck of dust off the corner with his thumb, and smiled as he attempted to read the influx of questions and comments that were appearing. His livestreams were often like this. The amount of questions he received could be overwhelming at times, but at least he was fending off his boredom.

"I have pictures, yeah," he said, in response to one of the comments that managed to catch his eye. "I'll show you some, if I can find them." He slumped back into his desk chair and unearthed his phone from the pocket of his jeans.

The questions were mostly regarding a picture he had tweeted of Phil. Phil and himself had recently been given the opportunity to go horseback riding, much to Phil's horror. Dan hadn't managed to vlog it, but he had some more pictures of a terrified Phil that he hadn't posted yet. He was sure his fans would be interested in seeing them.

Dan scrolled through the pictures on his phone for a few moments in silence. When it became apparent that they weren't in his phone gallery, he leaned forward and tilted his laptop screen upwards. Quietly, he minimized the YouNow tab and opened up his photo album. He squinted in concentration as he searched for the pictures. They had to be on here somewhere... He held up a finger to let his viewers know he needed a moment.

He barely heard the door to his room open, but he didn't look up. Phil was probably just coming to say hi to the fans or get his laptop charger. He continued to scroll through his photos, when suddenly he felt a warm arm wrap around his neck.

Confused, he turned to face Phil and their lips collided. For only a brief and blissful moment, Dan was kissing back. It was nice, the way Phil always was, and Dan forgot where he was was. For a moment. Suddenly, a flood of panic swept over him. He tore out of Phil's embrace, and rolled his desk chair back. His mouth fell open, and he stared at Phil who stared back, confused.

"Dan, are you okay?" Phil inquired, his brow now furrowed in concern. Dan stared at Phil for another moment with wide eyes. Then, lightning fast, he spun his chair around and closed out of his photo album revealing the YouNow tab still open on his computer. Vaguely, he heard Phil swear.

He exited the livestream and slammed the lid of computer shut with a resounding thud.

The room was silent for a moment. Dan felt his throat constricting with panic.

"Oh my god, Dan. I didn't-" Phil started, but was interrupted by an abrupt strangled inhuman noise from Dan. Phil looked down at Dan and saw that his face was now buried in his hands. He was shaking.

"Dan," Phil whispered to himself, an observation. Was he crying? _Oh my god._ He knelt down to meet Dan, moving slowly. "Dan, it's okay," Phil said soothingly, wrapping his arms around Dan's curled figure. "This is going to be okay," he added, reassuringly.

There was a moment where Phil could only hear Dan's ragged breathing. His mind was filled with concern for Dan, hate toward himself, and an endless string of swear words. All of a sudden, Dan tore himself out of Phil's arms and rose to his feet. Phil stumbled backward slightly, spilling onto the carpet behind him. He looked up at Dan, startled.

"D-Dan?" he inquired, but he had barely finished speaking before Dan spun around and rushed out of the room. Phil stumbled to his feet, groping the edge of the desk to steady himself. He followed after Dan, catching him at the door to their flat. Dan had his shoes in hand, and the door half open.

"What the hell?" Phil asked, confused. "Dan, what're you-" Dan cut him off once again.

"I'll be right back."

The door slammed shut behind him.


	2. Running.

Dan wasn't sure where he was going, much less why he was going anywhere. He wasn't sure of anything at the moment, now that he thought about it. Although, it was hard to think at all. His mind was racing. 

Dan became aware that he was running. His feet were bare, and the pavement felt cool beneath them. He barely registered how ridiculous he must look, shoes in hand running down the street this late at night, but the ache in his throat and a voice in the back of his mind told him to keep going. So he did.

He ran for a few minutes, numb and dizzy. Then, almost as suddenly as he had started, he stopped. He wasn't sure of where he was going until now. A short walk away from their flat was a small playground. Phil and himself came here once, a year ago. Dan couldn't remember what they had done here now, but Phil's name in his thoughts sparked something within him.

"Phil," he said audibly, despite being outside and in some proximity to people. Dan sank to the curb to catch his breath, and wedged his shoes onto his feet. He stared at the playground ahead of him, before letting his eyes fall shut. What was he doing? Why had he run out? He always made such rash decisions... But, he had panicked. Dan knew what this all meant. They were out.

It wasn't as though he had never planned to tell people, he had just wanted to do it on his own terms. Of course, he had a lot of opportunities for that. There had always been this something, just out of reach, and he could never put it into words. He was terrified. Phil had asked him to explain his fear many times, and Dan couldn't do it. There was some intangible reason that he couldn't quite articulate. So, he came up with an endless stream of excuses. He didn't want to lose subscribers, he didn't want his family somehow involved, he wanted to tell all their other friends first, and, his most popular excuse, that he just wasn't ready.

He knew Phil saw past this, as Phil did most things, but he never pressed the issue. Which Dan appreciated, he really did. But he knew Phil was unhappy. There was one particular night, a few months before, when Dan and Phil had been watching a movie on the couch together. Phil's head rested on his lap with Dan's hand in his hair, twirling it around his fingers. Dan wasn't watching the movie, he was observing the way the light from the television danced across Phil's features. Suddenly, Phil spoke.

"Are you embarrassed of me?" Phil said in a voice so small that Dan could barely understand him. But, he had heard him. The words hit Dan hard, like a punch to the face. Embarrassed? Him, embarrassed? Of Phil?? He stared at Phil, who's eyes were still focused on the screen.

"What?" Dan asked, aghast. "What do you mean?" Phil was silent for a long moment, and the sounds from the movie filled the room.

"Are... Are you ashamed to be with me?" Phil's voice was somehow smaller this time, and Dan felt his heart breaking.

"No, no of course not!" he said, loudly, his eyes now swimming. "No, never." How could Phil think that? How could he have made Phil think that?

"Okay," Phil said, nuzzling his cheek into Dan's leg. "Wait, Dan, watch! This is the best part." Phil pointed at the screen, and Dan knew he was trying to let the moment pass. But, Dan didn't look. He stared at his hand in Phil's hair, guilt consuming him. This was him. He had done this.

Dan hated that memory, he hated that Phil felt that way. He hated himself. Yet, he couldn't do it. He could not come out, even without genuine reason. Not even for Phil.

It was cold out, Dan observed. He was shivering now, in only a t-shirt. He wasn't sure how long he sat in silence before he heard the crackle of tires against pavement, and glanced up as a car drove by, it's headlights illuminating the play-sets ahead of him. He rose to his feet, feeling a sudden wave of exhaustion. He shouldn't have left the flat. He shouldn't have left Phil. He should have come out, it shouldn't have happened this way, he could have made it right. He knew he needed to get back to the flat. 

But, instead of turning around Dan walked forward towards the playground. He felt the absence of Phil, but he was also fairly certain that he deserved it.


	3. I'm Sorry

Phil stood, staring at the closed door that Dan had disappeared through, for a long few moments. He could still hear the break in Dan's voice, the slam of the door, see the tears swimming in his eyes. He was debating going after him, wondering where Dan could be going at this time of night. Wondering why had he left at all? Phil understood he was upset, but Dan always came to Phil for comfort. It wasn't as though he had anyone else. Neither did Phil, of course. It was just the two of them, always.

Dan had only left like this once before, two summers ago.

It had been Phil's fault. He had come home to find the kitchen a mess, and he wasn't sure why it angered him so much that night. But, it had.

"Dan, what happened in the kitchen?" Phil called out, examining the mess. He felt an unfamiliar surge of annoyance when Dan didn't answer immediately, and it wasn't at all appeased when Dan appeared at his side, grinning.

"I thought I'd try and bake us something, but it didn't quite go to plan," Dan chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "I'll clean it up in a bit, I was just-" Phil cut him off.

"Dan, you need to start pulling your weight around here," Phil said, his voice louder than he had expected. Dan's grin vanished, replaced by an expression of shock. He didn't speak for a long moment, but his mouth fell open and closed, struggling to form words. Suddenly, Phil was livid. He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes now closed. "I do everything around here-" Phil was practically shouting. "I am constantly cleaning up after you and I'm tired of it!" Dan stared at him, eyes wide with fear. Phil never shouted.

"I- I'm sorry," Dan stuttered, dumbstruck. "I didn't realize it was bothering you... This much-"

"No, of course you didn't!" Phil really was yelling now, and Dan shrank back. This was a different Phil from the one he had seen just a few hours before. Dan couldn't recall a time when Phil had properly yelled at him, until now. "You don't appreciate anything I do around here!"

"You know that's not true," Dan said, softly. He noticed Phil's fists curled at his side.

"No, I don't!" Phil retorted. He opened his mouth to speak again, but Dan had turned away from him. He was heading for the door. Phil stood with his mouth hanging open, when something snapped inside of him. "Dan..." he mumbled to himself. He heard the door fall closed, resonating in the silence of the kitchen. In an instant, Phil was filled with regret. What had he done?

Phil sank to the kitchen floor, and buried his face in his hands. He shouldn't have shouted. He knew he wasn't really mad about the kitchen, or the messes. He wasn't even truly mad at Dan. Although he'd never admit it to him, he was tired of hiding. Dan's adamant attitude toward making their relationship public was a constant weight on him. He didn't know hiding their relationship would be this strenuous. But, he had always been willing to. For Dan.

Even though he didn't understand why, he knew it terrified Dan. He told himself he would do anything to avoid hurting Dan. But, things were beginning to take their toll on Phil. He didn't know how much longer he could do this.

Now, though, everything had changed. Phil stood, still facing the door, when suddenly he felt a strange sensation creeping up on him. Something tugged at the corners of his mouth, and it really hit him. They were out. There would be no passing this off as a "prank". They were really out this time. No more lies. There was a sudden overwhelming sense of liberation that swept over him.

With this, though, came realization. He needed to go after Dan.

Phil grabbed one of Dan's sweatshirts that was lying in the lounge, and slipped on a pair of shoes without looking at them. He tore out of the flat, down the stairs, and onto the pavement before he realized he had no idea where Dan had gone. Instinctively, he checked his phone and was taken aback by the number of notifications. Oh. Right. The livestream. Phil's thumb lingered over Dan's name in his contacts before he realized Dan's phone was sitting in his room on the desk. Sighing to himself, Phil slid his phone back into his pocket and thought for a moment.

Where would an upset Dan go that was within walking distance from the flat? Phil looked up and down the street, and suddenly he was brought back to the time Dan and him had gone on a spontaneous walk around the neighborhood. They had meant to explore the city, but had found a small playground and had spent a good amount of time there instead. That was the first time Phil had really noticed the coppery tones in Dan's hair, and the way his eyes brightened in the sunlight. The playground.

Phil immediately knew, that was where Dan was. Without stopping to think, he took off in the direction of the playground, wanting to run but not wanting to draw attention to himself. It wasn't a long walk, it only took a few minutes, before Phil could see the play-sets in front of him. 

Then, illuminated by the flickering florescent light of a streetlamp, he spotted him. Hunched over and shivering, arms wrapped around himself, a lone figure on the swings. Dan. Phil started toward him.


	4. Making Amends

Dan heard a crunch of mulch from behind him, and he knew it was Phil without turning around. He unfolded his arms, and gripped the chains of the swing-set tightly. They dug into his flesh, but he ignored this as Phil wordlessly settled into the swing next to his. Neither of them spoke for a long moment. Dan observed the mulch clinging to the toe of his shoe.

"Is it honestly that terrible?" Phil spoke suddenly, and Dan felt his chest leap involuntarily at the sound of his voice. He hadn't sounded accusatory, but soft. Insecure. Dan turned to face him, taking in the pallor of his skin and the blue of his eyes. He tried, for a moment, to remember the first time he saw Phil. How he already knew he wanted to be with him. The first time they had kissed, Dan's fingertips grazing his neck. Dan knew so many things in that instant, and now he couldn't think of a single one. All he could think was that there was Phil. There was always Phil.

Dan really only knew one thing, and it was that he couldn't afford to lose him.

"Phil," Dan breathed, forgetting his question entirely. Phil's lips parted, ever so slightly, and Dan's body went numb. Without thought, he launched himself off the seat of the swing-set and onto Phil. Their lips collided for the second time that night, but this time Dan was trying to tell him. Trying to make him see...

Phil was kissing back right away, one hand in Dan's hair and the other on his neck. Desperate to pull him somehow closer to him. He pulled Dan onto the swing with him, until he was practically on his lap. Dan draped his arms around Phil's neck, and Phil felt the warmth of his fingertips against the back of his skull.

Dan pulled away abruptly, but didn't remove his arms from around Phil's neck.

"I- Phil, I wanted-" he started, breathlessly. Phil watched him, biting his lip expectantly. Dan had to fight the urge to kiss him again. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ran out, I'm sorry I didn't let you tell the fans, I'm sorry for being an idiot-" Phil's mouth against his cut his words short. After another moment, Phil pulled away.

"You're not an idiot, I'm just... Is this okay?" Phil asked, regaining his breath and lowering his voice. "Is this going to be okay for you?" Dan was silent for a long moment. The florescent light above them hummed loudly. 

"It will be," Dan said quietly. "It's just..." he trailed off, struggling to find words to express how he was feeling. Was it fear? Relief? He hadn't a clue.

"Just what?" Phil pressed.

"I wanted to decide to come out," Dan said softly, avoiding Phil's eyes. "I wanted to make things right. I was just... I was an idiot," he added, sighing at the ground.

"Make things right?" Phil inquired, his eyebrows arched in confusion. "Dan, it's okay that you weren't ready to come out."

"It wasn't- I was ready." Dan said, and he realized as he said it that it was true. "I think... I think I was worried things would change between us." Hearing the words spoken aloud for the first time brought on an odd wave of mingled sadness and relief. He glanced up at Phil, whose head was cocked to one side.

"Change? Dan, I love you," Phil insisted, and although Dan had heard the words before he still felt a familiar fluttering in his chest. "Nothing could change that." Dan was quiet, staring at Phil's hand as it rested in his lap. The park fell silent once more, apart from the hum of the streetlight and the distant sounds of traffic.

"This is like a terrible romantic comedy," Dan said suddenly, and Phil's hand shot up to his mouth as he failed to suppress a giggle. Dan snorted to himself, and then began to laugh loudly, leaning forward so that his head rested against Phil's chest.

"I take back what I said earlier," Phil mumbled, his chin resting against the side of Dan's head. "You ARE an idiot."

After a few more minutes sitting like this, they settled in the mulch surrounding the swings. Dan leaned his head against Phil's shoulder, and they sat unmoving until Dan began to doze off. Gently, Phil shook him awake and they made their way back to the flat hand-in-hand. As they neared their building, Dan suddenly stopped.

"How're we going to do this?" he asked, abruptly. Phil stared back at him, lost. "Do we make a video? Do we- we can't just act like it didn't happen, right?" His eyes widened, and Phil struggled not to laugh. He was glad that out of all the things that had changed, Dan had remained the same. Phil urged him forward, shaking his head.

"We can worry about that tomorrow."


	5. Hello Internet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so awful and short, I've been incredibly busy! No free time! Ahh! I plan to continue the story, if there's anyone who wants me to.

Dan awoke to the warmth of Phil's breath against his neck. There was a brief moment of unexplained serenity, and Dan smiled. He had just begun to run a hand through Phil's hair, when memories from the previous day came flooding back.

"Phil," Dan suddenly hissed, trying to gently shake him awake. Phil mumbled inaudibly, his jaw moving against Dan's collarbone. "Phil," Dan repeated, shaking him less gently this time.

"Whaaat?" Phil groaned, rolling off of Dan. He opened his eyes a sliver, and was met with the intensity of Dan's gaze. Oh, right.

"We need to figure out," Dan started, noting the look of recognition on Phil's face. "What we're gonna do about all this." He stared at Phil, whose eyes were beginning to fall closed again. "Phil!" Dan exclaimed, and Phil groaned a second time.

"Fine," Phil mumbled, forcing himself into an upright position. "We'll just make a video. Can you check my missed calls for me?" Dan frowned but reached over to grab Phil's phone from off the bedside table.

"Is a video enough? And who's channel will it be on?" He asked, and he unlocked Phil's phone. Suddenly, his jaw dropped open. Phil watched him for a moment, concerned, before snatching the phone out of Dan's hand.

"What is it?" he demanded, before seeing the screen. He was suddenly rendered speechless as well. He had more texts, missed calls, and notifications than he'd ever had in his life. He gaped at Dan, who shook his head in disbelief.

"This is insane," Phil breathed, suddenly overwhelmed. He slumped over, his head now in Dan's lap. "How are we gonna do this?" he asked monotonously, staring at the ceiling. Dan looked at him, thoughtful for a moment.

"We'll make an unedited video, okay?" Dan asked, waiting for Phil's acknowledgement. Phil nodded. "We can upload it, and spend the rest of the day taking care of calling people back and stuff." Dan nodded to himself this time, before nudging Phil with his knee to tell him he was getting up. Phil sat up, and Dan rose to his feet.

"I'm gonna fix my hair, and then we can film in your room," Dan said, jerking his head toward the bathroom. Phil sighed.

"Why can't we do it in your room, I don't wanna make my bed," Phil groaned, and Dan smiled.

"Your room," he repeated, chuckling to himself.

"Fine," Phil mumbled, as Dan disappeared into the bathroom.

Half an hour later, they were sat on Dan's bed. Phil had the camera in hand, ready to set it up on it's tripod. Dan sat back, watching, trying to fend off his anxiety. He knew this was a necessity, but admitting that they were dating to their audience? It was the same thing as outing himself as a liar. With this thought, Dan was suddenly terrified. He had hidden the truth, and now everyone was about to know it. All his angry, irrational denials of their relationships were about to be exposed as lies.

"Alright," Phil said, collapsing back onto the bed next to Dan. "Ready to record?" Dan opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Suddenly, to Phil's alarm, his eyes grew tearful.

"Dan, what's wrong?" Phil inquired, drawing Dan closer to him. Dan blinked, and swept an aggressive hand across his eyes. He wasn't going to cry, not right now.

"I'm fine," Dan said, confidently. Phil looked disbelieving. "Really, Phil. I'm fine. Let's film." He gestured at the camera. Then hesitantly, without taking his eyes off Dan, Phil leaned forward toward the camera.

"We're recording," he said quietly, after a moment. He sat back onto the bed, and took Dan's hand into his. This was it, they were really about to do this. Dan took a long, shaky breath, and spoke.

"Hello, internet."


	6. Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is awful, I've been feeling uninspired. Just let me know if I should continue, and I will.

Dan sat at the computer, a bad taste creeping into the corners of his mouth. He had his hands clasped together, his thumbs dancing over one another as Phil watched him from the floor next to his desk. Dan's leg bounced up and down under the desk, jangling the keys in his pocket. He was palpably anxious, and Phil wanted to fix it.

"Is it close?" Phil asked in a small voice, as to not startle him. Dan turned to face him, letting his hands fall at his sides, and nodded slowly. He took his lip between his teeth, and sank back into the desk chair.

"It's close," he said, now staring at the ceiling. Phil glanced up at the screen and saw that the video was nearly ready to upload. They were nearly out. He was so thrilled at the thought that he nearly forgot Dan's emotional state for a moment. Suddenly, Dan ran his hands across his face and groaned into his palms.

"You alright?" Phil queried, and immediately felt stupid for doing so. Of course Dan wasn't alright, he wouldn't be until this was all over. Phil observed the circles under Dan's eyes and the distinct lack of dimple on his cheek, and wished desperately that he could speed up the process somehow.

"I'm alright," Dan said, simply. He sat still now, staring at the loading bar.

"99%" Phil said, and suddenly it disappeared. 100%, Phil thought. Dan rose to his feet and reached to his left, a silent request for Phil's embrace. Phil followed suit, and met Dan's arms with his own. He felt Dan's face against his neck, and he smiled to himself.

"I need a nap," Dan mumbled against Phil's shirt, and Phil ran a hand through his soft, brown, hair.

"Let's nap," he said, although he had no intentions of doing so. Dan nodded, and mumbled something inaudible. They collapsed onto Phil's bed, and Dan fell silent once more. Phil smiled again, at his curled up figure, and quietly slipped his phone out of his pocket. There were already tweets, he almost laughed aloud. How could there already be tweets when the video had only been up a few moments? He closed out of the twitter app, and noted the number of phone calls from his mum. Uh-oh, she wasn't likely to be pleased about that.

Phil heard a small, sleepy noise, from Dan's figure at his side. He stroked Dan's hair again, and decided he was going to read the comments on the video. Dan never let him do this when they were together, afraid of how any hate comments would affect him. Phil wasn't sure that any hate comments could bring him down from his high today. Although the video hadn't been up as long as it's duration, there were already hundred of comments.

A smile split Phil's face as he began to read them.

"I'm so proud of you both, your courage is inspiring," one of them read, and Phil's smile grew somehow wider. "IS THIS REAL AM I DREAMING HELP," a particularly eloquent one caught his eye. He chuckled quietly, and Dan cuddled closer to his side. Phil gazed down at him, filled with a familiar warmth that he been missing for a while. This, he thought, is exactly what he wanted.

He brushed a clump of hair out a Dan's face, and the corners of Dan's mouth turned up at his touch. Phil let his phone fall onto the bed. He was happy.


End file.
